


Villain

by soldiermom1973



Series: 1,000 years (A Reconciliation Story) [23]
Category: Mass Effect (Comics), Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect - Various Authors, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: After Party, Citadel DLC, F/M, Gen, N7 Month 2019, N7 month, villain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:54:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21551809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soldiermom1973/pseuds/soldiermom1973
Summary: Allie wonders if she's really doing the right thing.  Garrus & Joker do what they can to convince her she's one of the good guys.
Relationships: Female Shepard & Garrus Vakarian, Jeff "Joker" Moreau & Female Shepard, Jeff "Joker" Moreau & Garrus Vakarian, Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard
Series: 1,000 years (A Reconciliation Story) [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1460416
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	Villain

**Author's Note:**

> Some kind of fluffy filler.

Allie knew it wouldn't take Glyph long to break them out of the vault, so she leaned against the wall and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Penny?” Kaidan asked her, raising an eyebrow.

“Penny? What's that?” Garrus asked.

Allie and Kaidan both laughed. “It's an old human saying, 'A penny for your thoughts.' Shepard is obviously thinking about something over there, I just wondered what it was,” Kaidan answered.

“You mean beside the fact that we've just met my fucking clone and she's on her way to steal my fucking ship?” Allie shook her head and sighed. “Here's a thought for you – no matter how much good you do, you'll always be the villain to somebody.”

Kaidan and Garrus glanced at each other. “You're not a villain, Shepard,” Garrus stated. “That second-rate you is just jealous.”

“Yeah,” Kaidan agreed. “She wants what you have, so she's going to take it from you.”

“It isn't just her, though,” Allie shrugged. She pushed herself off the wall when she heard the vault creak and start to move. “The batarians are all pretty certain I'm evil incarnate. Like I said...”

They stumbled a bit when the vault locked back into place and Glyph dropped the force field. “The other you has made it to the Normandy,” it stated. “I believe she is going to try and steal it.”

“I know Glyph, thanks. We need to find the others and get them out, too. We don't have much time.”

She and her friends raced back through the archives and to the surface, where Joker was already waiting and no one asked her to continue her line of thinking. She ushered Kaidan and Garrus into the skycar, thinking of a Plan B, C, D, and even E in case things didn't go according to Plan A while Joker fumed about the clone potentially making off with the Normandy.

When it was all said and done, Allie and her team had come out victorious yet again. The clone was dead, the ship was safe, and the only serious casualty was Traynor's toothbrush.

Joker talked her into throwing a party and she couldn't disagree. One last hurrah with her friends before the shit really hit the fan. Traynor was generous with Allie's booze, EDI was a decent cook and kept everyone fed, and Allie stayed sober so she could remember everything that went on. When things finally died down, she helped Kaidan get to bed and curled up on the couch. She didn't sleep well, though, her mind plagued with nightmares, vision of her dressed all in black like those ancient 'spaghetti westerns' her dad used to love, cackling manically while doing what looked like good deeds but actually turned out to be part of a larger, more evil plot.

The apartment was filled with the artificial sunlight that came with a Citadel morning when she finally woke up. She frowned when she noticed she was covered with her hoodie – she hadn't been when she fell asleep – but didn't give it a second thought.

She quietly padded to the kitchen, grabbed a cup of coffee from a mysteriously full pot, then made her way to the bar area, where she moved a chair so it was facing a window. She chuckled at Joker's muffled plea to not think too loud, then curled up to get lost in her thoughts. Her mind wandered to the day before and her musings whether or not history would judge her to have been on the right side of things.

Saren thought he was doing the right thing. He thought by helping Sovereign he might actually be helping the rest of the galaxy survive the next cycle. It wasn't until the very end that he realized he was horribly wrong and by then it was too late and Allie couldn't save him.

Matriarch Benezia went with Saren to try and keep him on a straight path only to find herself indoctrinated. By the time she knew what was happening to herself, it was too late and Allie had to kill her, too.

Dr. Gavin Archer thought he was doing the right thing, hooking his brother up to the geth collective to try and control them. It wasn't until Allie went off on him like a hand grenade that he realized that what he'd done was actually horrible and shouldn't have even been considered. At least Allie was able to help David there.

The Illusive Man had humanities' best interest in mind when he brought Allie back from the dead to go after the Collectors. He thought he still did, though the scores of Reaper-fied Cerberus troops Allie left in her wake begged to differ.

What if she was actually the villain in all of this? Was she actually doing the right thing? What if she stopped the Reapers only to have organic life wiped out by synthetics in the future? What if everything they'd been told about the Reaper harvests was wrong? What if they actually spared some people?

What if... what if... what if...

“If you frown any harder, you might give Javik a run for his money.” Garrus chuckled beside her.

“Hey,” she smiled at her best friend. “You're up early.”

“Depends on your definition of 'early'. Is this spot taken?” he asked as he dragged another chair next to her.

“Please stop with the furniture rearranging and the talking and the being loud,” came another muffled plea from a very hungover pilot.

Allie and Garrus chuckled again and kept their voices low. “Seriously, Shepard, what's on your mind? Or, how did Alenko put it? Penny for your thoughts?”

Allie turned her attention back to the window and sipped her coffee. “I'm just thinking about the people we've taken down who thought they were doing the right thing. I guess I'm a little paranoid, you know? I mean, curing the genophage now was a good call, but what if the krogan rebel again in five hundred years? Sure, Wrex and Eve have a handle on things now, but krogan aren't immortal. What if someone blames me for that because I cured the genophage? And what if the war between the geth and quarians flares back up? Who's going to suggest I should have picked one side over the other?”

Garrus blinked and leaned back in the chair, crossing his ankle over his knee and let his friend talk.

“I mean, Saren, Benezia, Dr. Archer, Maelon, Cerberus... they were all the good guys at one point. What if that's me now? What happens if we find out I've actually been the baddie all this time?”

“Are you listening to yourself, Shepard?” Joker didn't pick his head up from the bar, so his voice was still muffled. “Seriously. How can you question the things you've had to do? I know I can't speak for the rest of the galaxy, but I'm damn happy you're trying to keep me from getting killed or indoctrinated or turned into a husk. And if anyone thinks you're a villain for that, well, they can pick a spot on my brittle ass crack and kiss it.”

Allie smiled at that and Garrus purred. “He's right, you know. Either you do what you're doing or the Reapers will be the end of us all. No one's perfect, Shepard. Not even you. You're going to step on toes and piss people off. It comes with the territory. But villain? Not by a long shot.”

Allie sighed and stared out the window again, knowing her friends were right. She glanced at Garrus when he nudged her knee. “What else is it?”

“Have you ever had that one person you wanted to impress? One person who's opinion mattered more than anyone else's?” Allie whispered.

“My dad,” Garrus answered without hesitation. “It always killed me when he disapproved of anything I did. I mean, I outgrew it, I guess you could say, because when I left C-Sec to help you chase Saren, I didn't care what he thought. Why?”

“Because the one person who's opinion matters more to me than anything thinks I'm a villain. Or, was a villain, I guess.”

“You're talking about Kaidan,” Garrus observed. “I thought he said he trusted you now?”

“He said that, yeah, but...” Allie's voice trailed off and she stared out of the window again. “But what if, deep down, he thinks I'm this awful person who's done some awful things? What if he thinks I'm still a bad guy in all of this?”

“Commander, really?” came Joker's muffled voice again. He groaned as he pushed himself upright, then spun around to face her. “Kaidan is one of the most uptight... I mean upright people I know. If he said he trusts you, then he trusts you. Believe me, if he didn't, he wouldn't be on my ship... our ship working with you to stop the Reapers.”

“I know, but...”

“But nothing,” Joker stated. “Kaidan trusts you, I trust you, Garrus trusts you... we all have your back, Commander and if you're a bad guy then I'm Grunt's daddy. Now, can we please stop talking so much so I can continue my hangover in peace?”

The pilot spun the stool back around and dropped his head back on the bar. Allie and Garrus chuckled and Garrus leaned forward to pat her leg. “He's right, you know. If we didn't trust you, if we thought for one second you were a villain, none of us would be here. And for Kaidan? I think you're being too hard on him and yourself.”

Just then, James's booming voice filled the apartment, wondering if anyone wanted him to make some eggs. “I guess I'll see if Vega's cooking is better than his dancing,” Garrus grinned. “You should get something to eat, too, Shepard. You forget to do that sometimes.”

“I will,” Allie said.

Maybe Garrus and Joker were right – maybe history would judge her favorably when all was said and done. And maybe Kaidan really did trust her.

It was just a shame her heart couldn't find the truth in that yet.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to find out about Allie putting Kaidan to bed & how she got covered with her hoodie, [that story is here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20313631)


End file.
